Archive for August, 2009

  • Planning and Expecting to Win

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    Zig Ziglar is one of my favorite persons to listen to for energy, solid advice, and just plain knowledge. I like him because of his humor, his southern ways and tactics, and how he just strictly tells it like it is. This article is an adaptation of one of Zig’s recordings.

    Zig starts out explaining that we are where we are today because of the choices we have made. I know I personally dislike it when I speak with a person and they tell me about a goal that they have and when we get to discussing their progress, they have all the excuses in the world. I can’t work with people like that because my father used to tell me, “You can make excuses or you can make money, but you can’t do both.” And Zig says something pretty similar when he said that People who don’t take step one, generally don’t take step two, so terminate until the first step is completed.

    Zig describes four steps if you will that you need to understand fully if you want to win in life.

    The first is accepting responsibility for your actions and know that you do have a choice in your life.

    The second is its not what’s going on out there, but what you do. Lots of people like to blame their failure on the economy. But you are the direct reflection of what happens to you, good or bad. In every economical struggle this nation has ever seen, there have always been people who were flourishing. Profiting in the very same economical struggle you are complaining about.

    The third thing Zig says we must understand is that its not what our mother or father did, or how they lived, but what kind of legacy will you leave to your children? People have lived in riches and glory, and people have been used, mistreated and abused. And if that has happened to you, which is unfortunate, but maybe a little counseling to help you move on from that pain and hurt would be needed. Not to sound insensitive, but holding on to old hurts and pains only gives those people who have hurt you power over your life. They have either passed away or have moved on with their lives and you can’t bring any real joy to your life until you let go and forgive. You do not want to bring that misery to your children and the new life you are living. Seek the help if needed, but create a joyous and happy life for your children.

    The last trait Zigs describes is its not what happens to you, its how you handle it. I remember in college, both undergrad as well as grad, the registrar was no one to play around with. They were no joke. And although lots of times, the registrar who handled your schedule, money on your account and things of that sort truly in deed would mess you up. You’d have to stand in long lines for lengthy periods of time, get sent in other lengthy lines, and nine times of out ten, it would be the registrar’s error. But you ALWAYS had to keep your cool, because if you would become irate, the registrar was who you would need to come back to at some point, and they will remember your face. Its there seal of approval you need in order to go to classes. They could give you a hard time. So college was pretty much my first learning experience about how to handle “trying” situations. You can’t always say what you want to say, and you have to kill them with kindness.

    Zig tells a story about how after a long weekend speaking at a conference someplace, his flight is cancelled. And as the flight personnel explains to Zig that his flight has been cancelled Zig says “Fantastic.” The lady couldn’t understand why he would say such a thing, so she asked him, “Why would you say ‘Fantastic’ I just told you your flight has been cancelled?” Zig told her “There are only three reasons why a flight is canceled…something wrong with the plane, something wrong with the pilot, or something wrong in the sky. If its anyone of those three reasons, I don’t want to be on that flight.” The lady understood, then continued to tell Zig that the next flight wasn’t until 6pm, which was a considerable time difference away. Zig says “Fantastic!” yet again. The lady paused and said “Now Mr. Ziglar, I can maybe understand why you would say fantastic about the plane, but I just told you you’ll be stuck in a airport for quite sometime, why would you say ‘Fantastic’ to that?” Zig explains to her, “Well I never been to XXX Airport before, its dry, roof over my head, lights and electricity works, I do have some reading and work that I can do. And I can do that right here in this fine space, rent free, and you have a very nice coffee shop right over there, so if I get hungry or want something to drink its available to me.” The lady smiled as did Zig, and he went on about his day.

    Zig could have been sarcastic or yelled and explained how he had his tickets for months in advance, and the next flight still wouldn’t of been until 6pm. He could of asked to speak with management, requested compensation, but the next flight still wouldn’t of been until 6pm. When things are out of your control, you have to learn how to not let it take hold of your life. Make the adjustments. It wasn’t that lady’s fault nor managements fault that the flight was cancelled, so “letting them have it” is not going to fix the problem. And you certainly can’t let them ruin or take hold of your whole day. Because now you’ve given them power over your whole day. Sure Zig was displeased inside, sure he didn’t really feel the way that he said, but the flight is still going to leave at 6pm.

  • Discovering Your Six Human Needs

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    Did you now that there are six needs that we as a people need, not want but actually need in our lives in order to be whole? Well I wasn’t aware of them individually per say until I listened to Anthony Robbins explain and describe each one in full detail. One thing though before naming each need, they all revolve around on principle. And that’s pain and pleasure. We as a people want a little of pain, and a lot more of pleasure.

    Lets talk about the first four needs, to begin. These are what Tony Robbins calls the survival needs. Meaning most people already “get” these needs, because without them, you could not make it. The other two needs are categorized as fulfillment needs. Not too many people get this far in their lives. So after reading this, and become aware of these needs, you can aspire and bring your life to fulfillment.

    The first need is certainty. We love to know if something is a sure thing. We like to be comfortable, and we avoid pain like the plague. And naturally so. We freak out when we don’t have our certainty, such as things not being in our control. Company is being acquired, will you be able to keep your job; are your kids doing drugs; or you need to go to the doctor for a mammogram because you are at that certain age where it can get scary, and you just don’t know how the doctor visit will turn out. We like our certainty, and we go out of our way to make sure we can get it. And what happens a lot of times is that we strive so hard for our certainty, that we become bored. You have a career, nice home, vacation home, kids in a great schools, everything is going according to plan and you just don’t want to take the risk. But that’s what life is about, taking risks. If you knew everything thing that was going to happen to you, life would be boring, and that’s what happens, which brings us to the second need of uncertainty.
    Just how we need to be certain in life, we also need to be uncertain. We need that mystery, surprise, the excitement, the unknown. It gets us going and gives us something to look forward to. We can not be happy unless we grow, and get into the unknown sometimes. Tony Robbin’s said “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with.” If you have to be certain all the time, then you are in prison, and you’ll be completely unfulfilled. Its in the realm of uncertainty that your passion is found. Tony says that middleground is the closest thing to a grave. Keep your hunger alive by being in the uncertainty and in the uncertainty you’ll find your hunger.

    The third need is for significance. The need to feel special. Your life having purpose, you need to be needed. Some folks level of significance is higher or lower than others, but it is still there otherwise we wouldn’t be able to survive. In order to be significant, you must also be unique. There are lots of superstars who use their who career and strive after being unique and different, that they become too unique and sort of isolate themselves therefore being unhappy and sad. Which brings us to the next need that generally comes after significance, and that’s love.

    The fourth need is connection and love. We all need and want to be loved. What we really need to do is learn how to treat and love ourselves as good as we want to treat others. We all want to love other people, but we don’t show or treat ourselves that same love. Unless you create a good relationship with yourself first, how can you love someone else? You can’t. People have so much hurt and pain within themselves buried so deep, that they wonder why they keep having failed relationships. If you find yourself resenting someone elses success, you have just sealed yourself from being able to succeed. Who you spend time with is who you become. Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer group. Your peer group is anyone that you care about who or what they think of you. If you set a high expectation than your peer group, they will have to either come up to your level, or you need to form a new peer group. Whatever you do, you don’t want to drop to their level. And if your peer group is your family, then just love your family, but choose your peers.

    Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, and Love are the four survival needs. We all are doing and receiving those on a regular basis whether we know it or not, but needs five and six are needs that most of us never get to in our lives. They are titled the fulfillment needs. What we need in order to be at total peace and to have a inner joy within ourselves that no one, or no thing can take away or destroy.

    The fifth need is growing. We all must be forever be growing. Any living organism must continue to grow. Look at a plant for example, if a plant isn’t always spreading its branches, spreading into new soil, constantly being watered and showered, it dies. Same with us, we too must grow, or we die. I read a statistic that stated once a person graduates from high school, the likely hood of that individual to read a book for pure enjoyment or growth was less than 2%.

    Lastly, we must contribute beyond ourselves. In science, we know that anything that doesn’t contribute is eliminated. We must give back and help others. Whether you have a little or a lot, give. Whether that be of your time, by volunteering or you giving financially, no one achieves true success without someone’s help and generosity, so why not help someone else as you were helped.

    As I explained earlier, the first four needs are just pure survival, the last two include a recipe of living your life to fulfillment. Most people just survive out here in this world, never achieving fulfillment. Do you want to just survive or live your life to fulfillment?

  • Another Way To Make Money…

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    Good day all…what a WONDERFUL DAY today is!!

    My good friend Lisa has a very powerful message that I’d like to share with all of you guys today…turn your speakers up and listen.

    Enjoy your day!

  • Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Dreams…

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    I was listening to a speaker tell the story about Joseph from the first book of the Bible, Genesis. The speaker mentioned about how spoiled Joseph was, and mainly due to the fact that he was born from his father’s beloved wife who died, and so he favored Joseph over the other 12 older brothers. Something no parent should ever do, but none the less this was the situation. But as the speaker continued to speak, he talked about how Joseph grew to become a very important young man through a series of unfortunate events, but it all started with a dream.

    See if you know the story of Joseph, you would know that Joseph never did any real crime except accept the treatment his father gave him. And so his brothers hated him. They hated him so much that they plotted to kill him, but decided to sell their brother to a traveling caravan instead. Joseph had endured so much from being a slave, a prisoner, being away from his family, his father especially, but one thing he always held onto was his dreams.

    Even before he was sold into slavery, Joseph dreamed such high standard of dreams. Which brings me to my point of what the speaker of this story was sharing. When we dream, the dream has to be bigger than who we are today. Because the real purpose behind the dream is to get us to grow. If your dream does not require change on your part, then your dream is not big enough.

    When you have a dream you must protect it and don’t let anyone steal it, because people will try, even if its not intentional. Lets look back at the story of Joseph for a moment again. Joseph dreamed once that he was the sun. You know the sun that powers this earth. And the moon bowed to him, and twelve stars all bowed to him. Joseph’s dreamed signified as if his father was the moon, and his twelve brothers were the stars and they would all bow down to him. As much as Joseph’s father loved him, even he cut down on Joseph’s dream pretty much telling him to forget about that happening. And you know what, that’s exactly what ended up happening, later years in life.

    You ever have a family member or loved one tell you “Well, we just don’t want you to get your hopes up.” My question to them would be, Why not? I want to get my hopes up, because hope leads to faith and until you have faith in exactly what it is you are doing, or that dream, that hope keeps you going.

    I hear lots of people say “Well I’m just not a leader.” Well neither was Joseph. He was a spoiled brat, who ended up becoming the second in command, and saved his people through a 7year famine. There is no such thing as a born leader, maybe a born manipulator. Manipulators get people to do things for their own benefit, but leaders get people to do things for their own benefit.